Update: All of your comments are so wonderful. I wasn't writing for sympathy, but thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I try to be an optimist, but in the middle of the cold dark winter it gets hard. Thank you to all of my blogging buddies.
We hit our one year anniversary of being ICAB approved to adopt in the Philippines on Jan.24th. We know that the wait is quoted at being 18-24 months for a single child under 2 years old. However, I am starting to get a real complex of not being good enough. I read and hear about how more people request girls and boys are harder to place. I also read about how most people want 1 or 2 children and they want them to be 5 years at the oldest.
Now think about the children we are "asking" for and then tell me why we have to wait so long. We would like 2-3 boys under the age of 10 years old. Doesn't it seem they should have a huge pile of those children and they should be able to find one match to fit our family? Here is where I start getting the complex...what if there is a huge pile and we aren't a good enough fit for any of those children? Maybe it's just late. Or maybe winter is beginning to wear on me. Or maybe I'm getting tired of waiting and I want to know who my kids are.
I know I shouldn't complain because they are picking out the perfect kids for our family. I also know that the wait between knowing who your kids are and getting to bring them home is harder. I know I shouldn't complain, but it is hard to wait sometimes.
9 comments:
I understand your frustration but have no doubt that you are the perfect fit for some wonderful kids out there. Hugs!
You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggonit people like you. Okay, maybe Stuart Smalley isn't exactly what you need to hear right now. Sorry the wait stinks. I agree with you - I would think there would be lots of kids in your parameters who need you guys. Makes me excited to see exactly who God has planned for your family!
You guys are the perfect family for a group of kids out there somewhere. I can't imagine how frustrating the wait is, but it will be worth it. One year from today you can post a picture of your big family and remember how you were feeling on January 26, 2009!
I can understand your feelings of wondering if you are "good enough" but of course we are or they wouldn't have approved both of us in the first place! Your children are out there somewhere, you just have to wait a little bit longer to see their precious faces. It is going to happen sooner or later and hopefully it will be sooner!
I love the Stuart Smalley comment, we say that around here all the time. And think he may be representing us soon in MN. It just shows you anything can happen if you tell yourself you are good enough:)
Thank you all for your wonderful words, I don't know if Lance and Liam would agree with your rating of us a parents. We do have a no video games on school night rule that is not popular. I have gotten through one year by telling myself the wait is to make sure we get "our perfect fit kids". I can just do it one day at a time for a little longer.
Hang in there...your time is coming. This waiting stuff is hard. We are waiting for word we can travel to the Philippines to pick up our son. Feb. 2nd marks 5 months since referral. People keep telling me to be patient...I'm tired of being patient. I understand your pain...the wait stinks! Just keep busy and take it one day at a time...the time is coming! Prayers with you!
Julie,
I feel like I could have written your post. I agree, maybe it is just the winter months that seem to make the wait harder(I hate cold weather). Maybe it is the fact that I feel that I am so close, yet so far away. We have been waiting for a year as of Dec. 11th and I wake up everyday thinking...this could be the day. I am not sure why your wait is so long either. It seems that there would be plenty of children who fit in your criteria. In God's time... :)
Jenny
I am reminded of something our liaison told us - the children may be there, but they may not be eligible to be adopted. it is a bureaucratic reality, not comforting for anyone. Sending you good karma and sunshine (at least in thoughts).
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